my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Randomize
