@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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