okay pat passed out under dana's car
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
