Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
