can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
