I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My penis needs a shock collar
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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