But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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