if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
