All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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