All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
