Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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