I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
