Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
