I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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