Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
