man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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