I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Pants are for mortals
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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