i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
