its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
