I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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