drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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