She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
