2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
