oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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