you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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