bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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