First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
