I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
