oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
