If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
