We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
