Ambien. No doubt about it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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