so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
