You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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