I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
