Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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