my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
