im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
