hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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