Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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