Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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