I can feel you judging me through the phone.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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