I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
