you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
