Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
