So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You need Xanax blowdarts
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
