I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
