It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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