jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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