Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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