I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
