I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Your penis caused this!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
