I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
