A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
