we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
