i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she smelled like a LAN party
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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