Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
