Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
YAS. BRING CRAB.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
