I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
