just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
