physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
