we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
