if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She bit a glass in half.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize