i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
