Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
