We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
