Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
