Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
