I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
