I heard we made out
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
