Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize