Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
