Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
