I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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