went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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