Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
