I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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