so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
