I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
