We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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