I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
