I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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