nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
worst night to have a conscience
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
