I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
