I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
