I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
