How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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