He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
