Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
