I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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